We Don’t Get It
“Black Lives Matter” is an all-encompassing statement.
It doesn’t mean that ONLY black lives matter — it’s an attempt to remind people that black lives matter too, and that black lives need to start to matter more than our society and institutions have afforded.
It’s hard to understand this as a white man. Of course “all lives matter.” That statement doesn’t offend me. But it does offend my black friends; it does offend millions of men and women in our country. We can’t just dismiss that. Why not try to understand rather than devolve into spouting tribal slogans back and forth? That’s a symptom of the disease we’re trying to cure in the first place isn’t it?
Understanding starts with acknowledging that we exist within a society where it goes without saying that white lives matter. We don’t need to be reminded of this. This is “white privilege” in its simplest form. It doesn’t mean that, as a white person, you haven’t faced adversity or had a perfect life — hell, it doesn’t mean that you haven’t experienced racism! — it simply means that being white carries with it no inherent stigma. Being white is the default in America; the baseline; a genetic and ancestral starting point that won’t hold you back or present obstacles as you chase the “American Dream” (if that’s still a thing).
As Donnovan Bennett pointed out: “Children’s books contain white characters, standardized tests include language geared to white people that coincides with a racist history while our advertising and marketing focuses on white bodies and products are first and foremost made with white consumers in mind — even the colour “nude” for clothing like bras is modelled after white skin. And almost every elected official we’ve ever had has been white.”
The point here is not that white people deserve to be punished for being white or that their lives (or anyone else’s) should suddenly not “matter” — the latter notion being as absurd as it is unrealistic. The point is that white lives in America have historically been considered first, if not exclusively, when it comes to forming our society and establishing paths to success and wellbeing. Slavery may have ended 155 years ago (hardly two lifetimes…), but Jim Crow laws were in effect just 55 years ago and schools were still being desegregated in my own lifetime — never mind the fact that, right now, black male offenders receive sentences 19.1% longer than similarly situated white male offenders — never mind the practices of redlining, income disparity, and residential segregation still going on today.
This is why asserting that “All Lives Matter” is tone deaf.
Of course all lives matter, but screaming it as a counterpoint to people trying to communicate their challenges and experiences with discrimination and injustice in a society they share with white people who don’t experience the same type of challenges reaffirms the reality that black Americans are trying to expose. Every life is valuable, but not everyone’s lives are in danger due to their skin color. There isn’t a disproportionate amount of unarmed white lives being threatened at the hands of police, nor do white people experience the violence and discrimination black individuals face every day. And it doesn’t need to be a knee on a neck or a racial slur, either. I’ve never been unlawfully carded or pulled over without having committed an infraction — but every man and woman of color I know can recount multiple stories of this exact nature from their own experiences.
Here’s a few thought experiments I’ve heard in recent days that, while purposely absurd, make the point:
Imagine you are diagnosed with breast cancer. You attend at a gala to raise money for breast cancer research and encourage your friends to wear pink to raise awareness. You’re in deep conversation about breast cancer when, suddenly, a bunch of people storm the banquet hall and start chanting “all cancers matter.” Does raising awareness about breast cancer take away from the legitimate concern about other cancers? Should you stop right there and instead begin fundraising for cancer, generally, all the while the lump in your chest reminds of your condition?
Or imagine breaking your hand and your doctor’s response is to check your cholesterol and focus on the fact that you’re generally healthy because he doesn’t want the conversation to be disrespectful to the other parts of your body that are healthier. You’d still want an X-ray and a cast, no?
Or imagine if while “Boston Strong” was trending after the Boston marathon bombings in 2013 that a bunch of people started tweeting that “All cities are strong.” Wouldn’t that feel completely tone deaf?
The point is that America has long had a problem with racism — even if it’s passive and quiet — and refuting the BLM movement by reminding black people that “All Lives Matter” co-opts the conversation and misses the message. It’s not that all lives don’t have hardship — it’s that right now we are trying to talk about black lives, a group of people that are hardly ever considered. If you try to drown that conversation out with talk of all lives, it feels like a deliberate act to suffocate progress and silence a movement that is extremely important to the most oppressed minority group in America.
To be clear, I know that’s not the intention of most people — but it is the outcome.
-AN 🥃
